How to get so good at tonality you can't stop closing

If you are losing deals with the perfect script, it is not what you are saying. It is how you are saying it. After taking over 7,000 sales calls and closing $9M+ in deals, I can tell you tonality makes the difference. And you can master it just by understanding a few things.

Why tonality actually matters

Tonality is the key to getting below the surface. Your voice inflections and your body language go hand in hand. That is the lens the prospect views everything you say through.

It is not only the words. It is how they receive the words.

We need our tonality to connect, not trigger resistance. That is how you get reliable sales conversations. Conversations where the person is actually telling you the truth instead of surface level answers.

In order for them to tell you the truth, they need to trust you. In order for them to trust you, they need to be open.

The 6 tones you need to master

There are different tones I use on every call. Not all of them, but these are the ones that matter most.

• Confused
• Curious
• Concerned
• Challenging
• Skeptical
• Playful

Here is the real secret. Mastering tonality comes down to mastering your state. Your state is how you feel internally. I got this from Tony Robbins originally, state management, but it maps perfectly onto tonality.

Three things make up your state.

• Physiology, your body
• Focus, what you are paying attention to
• Language, what you actually say

"The prospect will feel what you feel. A lot of tonality, a lot of sales, is transferring a feeling."

If your focus on the call is fear of losing the sale, or insecurity, or anxiety, that shows up in your language and your body whether you want it to or not. So before you worry about which tone to use, get your internal state right first.

Confused, curious, and concerned

Confused tone. When you act confused, people want to help you. If a prospect says something emotional like "it's been tough," you tilt your head, furrow your brow, and just say "tough?" That pulls them in and gets them to expand.

Curious tone. This is mostly early in the call. You need them to know you are here to understand, not push something. "What had you go ahead and book the call today?" Light voice, inquisitive, head tilted to the right.

Concerned tone. This amplifies their pain. If a prospect tells you something serious and you ask about it in a flat, curious tone with no emotion, you will not amplify anything. You need a creep of concern.

"If your friend told you he had stage four cancer, you would not say it back flat. You'd scrunch down a little. You'd have a concerned look on your face."

If you are not concerned when someone tells you concerning things, one of two things happens. They minimize their own pain, or they think you are not even listening. Either way, you come across as disingenuous, like you are just there to sell them.

Challenging, skeptical, and playful

Challenging tone. I do not want prospects to buy into their own limitations, because I know they can do more. Think older brother talking to younger brother.

"Dude, I care about you. I know you can do better, but I'm not accepting your bullshit."

This needs conviction. If you are too attached to the sale, too scared they will not buy, you cannot challenge with the strength it takes to get someone to rethink their beliefs. Most people who have had a problem for 5 years and done nothing about it have no good reason for that. If you let them get away with that and never challenge it, you will not get to a real yes at the end of the call.

Skeptical tone. Same energy as challenging. You are questioning their worldview, not attacking them.

Playful tone. Helping people should be fun, not stressful. I use lines like, "If you're happily married, you tend not to go out on dates. So what even had you booking a call in the first place?" Playful gets people to open up fast, especially early on.

Future pacing their dreams

When you ask about goals, your tone shifts to light and curious. They are telling you dreams and aspirations. Reward that by sounding genuinely interested.

Most people cannot talk about their dreams anywhere else in their life. People either do not take them seriously or they feel shame about wanting more. You have to build a space where they can actually open up, because a surface level goal like "I want to buy a house" does not create urgency. But get underneath it:

"Why buy a house? Oh, the house I'm in is pretty small. Pretty small? What's going on?"

Now you have specifics. A baby on the way, a cramped house, a dream neighborhood, a number of bedrooms, even a color. People run toward what they can visualize.

On every call, when I future pace, I physically lean forward and push my mic back. It is the only time I do that the whole call. My voice gets lighter, more in the back of my throat. That shift is what gets people to actually open up about what they want.

Verbal pacing and the power of acceleration

How fast or slow you talk changes what people hear as important.

When you want a deeper answer, slow down or add a pause. It signals the question is thoughtful, so they feel they owe you a thoughtful answer.

"I'm asking why is it actually important for you to get better... and improve your sales skills... like now though?"

That pause and that emphasis on "now" tells them exactly what to answer. I only emphasize one word per sentence. Emphasize three or four and the sentence makes no sense anymore.

When you want a knee jerk reaction, speed up. Make the question sound like a throwaway so they answer without overthinking it.

The biggest thing most closers miss is acceleration. A shift in tone is what gets felt, not the tone itself held constant. If you are concerned on every single question, it means nothing. If you are fast your whole call, you cannot speed up when it counts. If you are slow your whole call, you cannot slow down to drive home a point. Keep a medium pace so you have somewhere to go when it matters.

The bottom line

Tonality is not about sounding like someone else. It is about getting your internal state right so the right tone comes out naturally. Know your why behind every question. Know what you want the prospect to feel. Then let your focus, your body, and your language catch up to that.

Go back and listen to your own calls. Ask yourself what you were trying to get the prospect to feel, and whether your tone actually got you there. Fix the gap and you will dial this in fast.